As the weather cools I find myself indoors more. Specifically in my house. And I start to notice just how much stuff I’ve accumulated over the year. Okay, let’s be honest, years. In the past, I’ve used the Marie Kondo method of sorting stuff, which has worked really well for me. I love the idea of something sparking joy or passing it on so it can spark joy for someone else. However, since the pandemic, I’ve found myself holding on to things not because they spark joy, but ‘just in case’. And that ‘just in case’ doesn’t seem to be serving my mental health, my creativity, or my home’s lack of closet space and shelving.
So, I came up with an idea.
Last night I boxed up five boxes of stuff. Three filled with books — I still have five bookcases worth — and two with items. And now I’m leaving them stacked up — where I can see them every day, where I have to see them every day — for three months. At the end of three months, I’m going to open them up and see how I feel about all that stuff. Anything that sparks joy upon seeing again, I’ll keep. If it doesn’t, then I’ll pass it along to someone who will enjoy using it. I’m calling this whole experiment “The Maybe Box Adventure”.
As I filled the first box of stuff last night, I realized something. The items piled in the box didn’t feel like me. They felt like they belonged to someone else. And even though they were all quite nice and clean, they felt sort of cheap and dingy. It was strange. Once I pulled them all together, I could tell that they weren’t serving me and I wasn’t giving them the use and enjoyment they deserve. (Yes, I anthropomorphize things. Yes, I’m fine with that.)
Now, if only I could figure out how to ‘maybe box’ other parts of my life: the relationships I’m not sure about, the responsibilities I’m not sure I need to have, the goals I’m not sure I want to work for anymore. I guess, like any good adventure, I’ll just keep taking things one step at a time. One box at a time. One mini adventure at a time.
The one thing I do know is as the holiday of giving quickly approaches, and the New Year is waving hello, I want to continue to be more intentional about what I invite in, what I let go of, and what I want my emotional and physical space to feel like. Because that is the gift I can keep giving myself.
Writing Adventures and Detours
As you may remember, this section was previously called “Are We There Yet?”. However these last few months I’ve realized that question is typically asked with impatience. And I don’t want to be impatient with myself. I want to enjoy the journey. Hence, the name change. :) And yes, we’re still making great headway on Manly Hero and book two of The Adventurers Guild and now have tentative release dates for both. Hooray! 😀
I find writing to be a fascinating process. Sometimes I’m not even sure how it all happens. How the spark of an idea is caught by the magnetism of my mind, how it turns into a story and characters, how it gets onto a page, how it’s edited and edited and edited into something other people can experience, too. It’s amazing! But delving into a book that at one point in time we considered finished, and are now reapproaching with a more experienced writing viewpoint, is a total trip. It’s amazing to see how we’ve grown as writers and storytellers. And trying to edit the story while holding on to its original heart requires delicacy and bravery.
Adam and I really believe in this book, and the whole series. And we both feel we can polish it into something even more special. Manly Hero is the foundation for the rest of the series and we want it to be solid. So we’re taking our time. Which brings us back to the name change for this section of my newsletter — I’m not rushing myself, I’m enjoying the journey. With some stops for snacks and tourist attraction selfies along the way. :)
Obsession Sessions
Adam and I finally both fell sick with covid. (I refuse to capitalize it because I don’t like giving it more aggressive energy than it already has.) He had it worse than I did. So, while we both stayed in our house waiting for it to pass, and for us to finally test negative, and while he napped on the couch, I decided it was time for an autumn cleaning.
I think of autumn cleaning as more important than spring cleaning. Knowing that I’ll be tucked in the house for the next several months means I want it to feel clean and cozy. I started with the pantry — which was in dire need of tidying. I’m not sure how, but there were items in there that had expired years ago, tucked at the back and forgotten. They got composted. Then jars got relabeled, recategorized, and lined up in happy little rows.
That project got me hooked. So now each room of the house is being scrutinized, each item is being assessed, and each surface is being dusted or scrubbed. And the stovetop potpourri is happily simmering away. Yes, I’ll probably be totally over cleaning in a few more weeks, but for now, I’m obsessed with it. :)
Honey For The Soul
Chocolate and tea. If I can’t have anything else, these two things carry me through any writing or editing session. I’m currently drinking a blend of soba and rooibos with cashew milk. Yum!
As the weather cools I crave hot drinks and mild energy boosts. But it’s not just the warmth of tea or mild caffeine boost from chocolate. It’s the ritual. I find the spring and summer to be improvisational. I move with whatever is happening. Rain, wind, sun, smoke, fires. I eat and drink whatever is fresh and in season. But autumn and winter invite routine and ritual: holidays, go-to foods, favorite shows and movies. I settle into my well-loved comforts — to rest, to refuel, to revel.
And currently my reveling is Harney & Sons tea. And chocolate from my favorite local chocolate shop — an alluring little space on the corner of main street that emits a warm glow on these dark, cool evenings. It’s filled with beautifully wrapped, intentionally sourced chocolate and cacao, and curated by an owner who is lovely to visit with and always has fabulous samples on hand.
Each time I visit a space, or pop into a shop, or pass by a beautiful window display someone has put time and love into, I feel nourished, inspired, and calm. And, it doesn’t hurt if there’s some tea and chocolate involved. :)
Bye For Now
May your space be filled with beauty and peace. May your drinks be warm and your food nourishing. May you let go of what doesn’t bring you joy. And may these cool winter days, early dark evenings, and sparkling holidays bring you rest, rejuvenation, and revelry.
Love you, Petra ❤️
P.S. Yes, I use the term “Adventure” often. It’s because I find so much of life can feel overwhelming, or mundane, or scary, or sad, or tumultuous, or etc, etc, etc. So, I keep training my mind and brain to see things as Adventures. Capital A. Because, when I do, it helps keep it interesting and helps me be braver. :) So here’s to all our Adventures!
P.P.S. For anyone wondering, yes, I’m very happy with how this F1 season wrapped up. Hooray Lando! Papaya on top! 😀
Thanks for reading! As an indie author, I really appreciate your support. :)
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I love hearing your thoughts and comments on these posts. As always, this means I’m trusting you the reader to give me the benefit of the doubt if I say something weird, or create space for something which doesn’t align with what you think or where you are in your journey, just as I’ll do for you. And please extend the same courtesy to fellow commenters. This is a space to respect each other and the fact that being human is both amazingly beautiful and fucking complicated. Thank you for your respect.
I like the idea of "Writing Adventures and Detours" glorying in the journey. (Though "are we there yet?" was always a family joke when I was a kid, so I can kind of hear it in a playful way.)
"I find writing to be a fascinating process. Sometimes I’m not even sure how it all happens."
I've been thinking about that a lot lately and how often it feels like a poem came from someone else other than me. I find myself reading my own poems over and over and analyzing them and studying them as a reader instead of as a writer. It's such a weird feeling of detachment and wonder. Truly writing is amazing.
What a great article!
It's interesting. We got back from AuthorNation conference in Vegas and found our house had suffered massive water damage while were gone for almost two weeks. Not bothering with details, but the upshot is that every single item in our house (all 2400sft of it) got packed up and went into storage. So, once the house is ours again (maybe March, maybe April) every box that comes back to the house will have to be Marie Kondo'd.
The process has already started - since so much of the house will be rebuilt with new, it will be very hard to bring our old junk from boxes, some of which haven't even been opened in a decade. I'm sure a lot of things will spark joy, but I suspect, as you mentioned - a lot of them will simply be 'stuff' that has no place in our life anymore.
My situation isn't something I'd recommend to anyone, however your plan is stellar - forced sorting of things. Not making snap decisions about it, but an actual plan to take a look after the passion has cooled, and make logical decisions on the 'stuff'.