Newsletter 18: Lights and Laughter and Having a Bawl

December 2024

The hearth of our wood stove before being fully decorated.

There are a few things in life I want to someday be good at: conversational Spanish, vegan/gluten-free baking, and placing lights on my Christmas tree.

One of those things is actually really difficult.

It happens every year. I get excited about the holidays a bit before Thanksgiving. Then, I proceed to put off decorating my tree because… lights. I’ll finally muster up the motivation and pull the holiday decorations chest from its corner and Adam brings the tree in from the garage and I turn on my favorite holiday music and then, somehow, the amount of lights I used last year is too long or too short for this year’s exactly-the-same-as-last-year’s artificial tree.

Mostly, somehow, it always seems there aren’t enough lights.

A good Christmas/Solstice tree needs a depth of lighting. Lights close to the trunk, a few properly placed lights at the ends, and of course, a balance of light swirls in-between. And this takes time.

When I was a kid, we had living trees. We filled the base with water and brown sugar and a penny. We put on the green wrapped wire colored lights, inevitably found that one of the bulbs was burnt out, and then had to hunt for which one it was. Then up went the decorations, the gold garland, and the silver tinsel. On Christmas Eve, Mom and Dad would wrap the presents while we slept and we’d wake up to a morning of joy, sparkle, and lights.

Now, almost four decades later, I’m very aware these winter days are shorter. These winter days are darker. They are missing loved ones. They remind me that I lost my father twice this time of year — once to divorce and once to death. They remind me of other difficult memories, too. They can feel heavy.

I hear a lot of people say we don’t need to celebrate these holidays if they’re tough. And I understand. I’ve taken a break from Christmas a few times. But this year, as I once again struggled with the lights and the dark, I realized, all those sad, hard, scary things would have happened this time of year no matter what. November and December would still be sad, would still have less sun. But, they also have sparkle and lights and an invitation to enjoy what we have right now. Who we have right now. To celebrate what we’ve survived.

And, yes, I’ll let myself have a good cry here and there, too. Because I’m human. And that’s part of it. But we’ve made it through not just this year, we’ve made it through all the years. We’ve seen the sun go away and we’ll see it return. And, until it does, I’ll be stringing up the lights. No matter how many I’m short. Because every bit of light helps. And I’m thankful for it.

Are We There Yet?

We’ll be getting back our developmental edit for Manly Hero in a few days. And yes, we’re excited to see the notes! I love a good story critique. So much to think about and so many possibilities. Such a great opportunity to shape our story into something even better.

As for Bones, book two in the series, we’re still moving forward. Adam and I bit off a lot with what we are trying to do in book two. It’s something we’ve never played with in writing before. And it’s stretching us. But we’re really excited about it.

If You’re Looking For A Good Book…

I took a break from reading. For so many reasons. And now, to get myself back into it, I’m leaning into audiobooks. I’ve been listening to Ina Garten’s memoir and really enjoying it. She reads it herself and she’s lovely company while I’m in the kitchen cooking. It’s always inspiring to hear about other women who have dreamed big and made it happen. And especially fun and helpful to see the bumps and realizations along the way. (P.S. I totally could have called that Ina likes to get a little wild. 😉)

Honey For The Soul

Okay, sometimes the things that bring joy are actually a little bit darker. Like dark chocolate. And I know I’m late to the game but I’ve been watching Silo on Apple TV+, and it’s great! I’ve caught up and I can’t wait for the next episode. Before watching it, I had listened to a few interviews with Hugh Howey, the author of the book series the show is based on. He started as an indie published author with a short story called Wool on Kindle and it grew into this. So it’s both a great story to watch and a big inspiration. It is dystopian though, so know that before you think about jumping in.

I’ve also started the animated series, Arcane. I’m almost finished the first season and it’s so good, timing wise. It’s a great study in timing and revealing. They make you want a scene and then wait for it. And the reveals are excellent and so satisfying. I’m a firm believer that I have learned just as much about storytelling from watching stories as from reading them. Again, though, this is a dystopian show, so be warned.

Honestly, not sure why I’m here for dystopian right now, but I am. So I’m leaning into it. Of course, I’m sprinkling in a few happy classics, like Gilmore Girls, Sex and the City, Gossip Girl, and The Great British Bake Off holiday episodes. Because obviously. 😀

Bye For Now

I hope these darker days are filled with warmth, joy, delicious hot drinks, strings of lights, and love. Sending you hugs and love from me.

Love you, Petra ❤️

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